kraft macaroni and cheese...

i got the blues.

i guess what they say really is true. when it rains it pours. which im not really ok with. why cant it be a constant sprinkle and on occasion thunder and lightning?

i cant snap out of this funk and i dont know if it is a normal human emotion or me being depressed again. after years of medicating my feelings i have lost touch of what is normal and what isnt. i am very thankful that i dont have to rely on a external source to balance my state of mind but i just wish it was easier to have feeling and know how to deal with them and not let them bring me down.

with so much going on so far away i feel out of control. i know its better for me to be here but its also hard to hear all of the different opions on what is goign on. it makes me feel guilty not being home and angry at how people are dealing or not dealing with what is happening. i know in time everything will balance out but for the past few years since we left needham i have been waiting and i am loosing patience.

i know it cant ever go back to how it was and i cant even say that if did i would be happy. so really im fucked and just need to focus on moving forward. i need to learn to leave things in the past and i need to learn how to deal.

in two weeks my parents will be in town and i cant wait. i think having them here for a few days will bring peace of mind or break my heart. either way i need to get on with it.

blah blah blah

lifes a bitch and then you die.

in other news i found a photo of the boots of my dreams now i just need to find them and hope i can afford them.

Ellen Harris. Handle: JNLN2.

Twinkies44: hihi
JNLN2: hi baby
JNLN2: I might have found an apartment for the sperm donor and family
Twinkies44: jodi and sean?
Twinkies44: where?
JNLN2: Across the street where duke lives at carriage point
Twinkies44: oh how great
JNLN2: I am waiting for the broker to call back
Twinkies44: why are you doing it for them
JNLN2: because we can't take it anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Twinkies44: good kick em out


you go girl!

DEAR JAIMIE

as you know miss lady of the sky i like to read the news at work. here is what i found today.


ps im not some crazy redsox super fan. i like them but i aint no super freak. but the last line of this made me laugh out loud. i LOL'ed.

"The Pope Is Out to Get the Yankees"
Posted Mar 6th 2008 8:10PM by Pat Lackey

"A quick glance of the Yankees' schedule in April reveals a pretty strange stretch: they're on the road for almost three straight weeks from the 8th through the 28th, with a random two-game home stand jammed in the middle against the Red Sox on the 16th and 17th. That makes for an awful lot of traveling and some angry Yankees. But why is the schedule so funny?

Turns out Pope Benedict XVI is coming to Yankee Stadium to say a mass on April 20th, which required that weekend's series with the Orioles to be flipped from New York to Baltimore. Since schedules are apparently incredibly delicate things, MLB didn't flip any other series to accommodate the Yanks. The result is a schedule that requires them to be in Tampa on the 15th, New York in the 16th, and Baltimore on the 18th. That's a bad week.

So the Pope is messing with their schedule, the Red Sox have won two World Series in the past four years, and Hank Steinbrenner is in charge. There's only one conclusion to draw from this whole scenario, really. God hates the Yankees."

AND IN OTHER NEWS

"Kathie Lee Gifford Up for 'Today' Job"
By Paul J. Gough,Reuters
Posted: 2008-03-07 10:47:28

"NEW YORK (March 7) - Former morning show host Kathie Lee Gifford might be plotting a comeback as a co-host of the fourth hour of "Today."

Gifford, 54, is one of several people from inside and out of the network whom NBC News has been talking with about a co-host role during the morning show's fourth hour. She co-hosted at least once in the fall alongside regular co-hosts Ann Curry and Hota Kotb.

"I think she's a great talent," "Today" executive producer Jim Bell said Thursday. But he said that there's no imminent announcement as there are other people the network is talking to as well.

It comes at a time when "Today" is on another hot streak. It just concluded a February sweep period that was its second-best since 2004. "Today" averaged 6.1 million viewers in February, compared with 4.9 million viewers for ABC's "Good Morning America" and the 3.1 million viewers for CBS' "The Early Show."

How Gifford would fit in remains to be seen. The singer-actress shot to fame in the 1970s with appearances on "Name That Tune" and then in the mid-1980s as a co-host on "The Morning Show" with Regis Philbin, first on WABC-TV in New York and then nationally in 1988. She left in 2000 and was replaced the following year by Kelly Ripa."

LAST NEWS

patrick swayze was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. i dont know much about pancreatic cancer but from what i hear not many people beat it. im pretty bummed. when i was a child i used to watch dirty dancing every day and new all the dance moves and every word to the whole movie. litterly. my mother thought it was and hilarious would make me do the dances for her and her friends. she would invite her friends over and have me do the rubix cube, i could do it in 30 seconds
(or like a minute) and then have me perform the final scene to dirty dancing. the nobody puts baby in the corner scene. i would act out both baby and johnys part and use the couch for the final lift. i really hope one day my child can be as eclectic as i was. if you could call it eclectic.

i got a record player. i need some new records. bette midler in the 70's genius.

can we talk about Betsey Johnson circa 1990's or even 1980's or 1970's and what about now! i mean i want to wear a big poufy party dress every day. im talking super tight on top, preferably with sleeves, big big big pouf from the waist down, and real short.

last. my hair is to long to not do fun things. i need to do fun things with it. braids. beads?. all the braids.

and please clean my room AHHHHH